| (no subject) |
[Mar. 18th, 2005|08:42 pm] |
1. YOUR PORN STAR NAME: Renee Rose
(Name of first pet / First Street you lived on)
2. YOUR MOVIE STAR NAME: Candy Robert
(Name of your favorite snack food / Grandfather's first name)
3. YOUR FASHION DESIGNER NAME: Avery Buca De Bepo
(First word you see on your left / Favorite restaurant)
4. EXOTIC FOREIGNER ALIAS: Cinnamon St. Thomas
(Favorite Spice / Last Foreign Vacation Spot)
5. SOCIALITE ALIAS: Muff Stroudsburg
(Silliest Childhood Nickname / Town Where You First Partied):
6. "FLY GIRL/BOY" ALIAS: L al
(First Initial / First Two or Three Letters of your Last Name)
7. ICON ALIAS: chocolate Soda
(Something Sweet Within Sight / Any Liquid in Your Kitchen)
8. DETECTIVE ALIAS: Lab Stroudsburg
(Favorite Baby Animal / Where You Went to High School)
9. BARFLY ALIAS: Ice cream long island ice tea
(Last Snack Food You Ate / Your Favorite Alcoholic Drink)
10. SOAP OPERA ALIAS: Renee Rose
(Middle Name / Street Where You First Lived)
11. ROCK STAR ALIAS: Reese Whitacre
(Favorite Candy / Last Name Of Favorite Musician)
12. YOUR STAR WARS NAME: laalt coeas
( First 2 letters of your first name and the first 3 Letters from your last name makes your first name. Take the first 2 letters of your mother's maiden name and the first 3 letters of the city you were born in for your last name) |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 20th, 2004|10:36 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  accomplished | ] |
Well, lots has been going on lately... school, working, driving etc. I'm doing really good in school. It's great here. Actually being at a music school is great! work, well driving back and fourth is sucking but its great bonding time for john and I. Midterms are over now, and im pretty happy with my grades... well except my piano grade... i wish it could be higher.. but oh well. It just gives me room to improve... I better jet, class is starting soon... |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 19th, 2004|12:03 pm] |
_____YOUR LIFE____
[x] they call me: mello yellow... lol.. jk... Lauren
[x] also: Lo, Blondie
[x] sex: Female
[x] my first breath of air: November 03, 1982
[x] age: 21 almost 22!!!
[x] status: engaged!
[x] occupation: music director... student
[x] best homegirl[s]: Jen, Brittany...Andrea etc...
____REWIND____
[x] most memorable memory: when John asked me to marry him
[x] worst?: i'd rather not say
[x] first word uttered: da da
[x] first bestfriend ever!?: Andrea...
____FAST FORWARD____
[x] college planning to go: already here... FTC!
[x] future resident of: long island ny or minnesota
[x] wedding: not sure.. but hopefully this summer!
[x] children: 4 prob.
[x] looking forward to: the summer
[x] NOT looking forward to: the next few months
____PLAY____
[x] feeling: tired...
[x] Listening: other people type
[x] Talking: people in the next room
[x] doing: this survey
[x] craving: umm.. ice cream
[x] thinking of: John
[x] hating: the next few months
____LOVE?____
[x] love is: undescribable
[x] first love: John
[x] current love: J.D.
[x] love or lust?: hands down Love
[x] best love song: I don't know a best one...
[x] when love hurts, you: I cry...
[x] true or false - all you need is love: true, not necessarily in love but love of friends and family...love can get you through...you don't need material things
[x] have you ever been in love?: yes
[x] is there such thing as love @ first sight?: yes
____THE OPPOSITE SEX____
[x] turn ons: eyes, sense of humor, personality
[x] turn offs: not clean, rude...etc
[x] does your parents' opinion on your bf/gf matter to you?: not at all, but they like john
[x] what kinda hair style?: I like it short...
[x] the sweetest thing a member of the opposite sex can do for you?: Love me for me and want me to be no one else other than myself
[x] where do you go to meet new people?: school
[x] are you the type of person to holler n ask for numbers?: nah
____PICKY PICKY____
[x] dog or cat: dog
[x] short or long hair: i like long but short on guys
[x] innie or outie: innie
[x] sunshine or rain: sunshine
[x] moon or sun: sun
[x] basketball or football: basketball
[x] righty or lefty: righty
[x] hugs or kisses: I'm greedy, I want both[x] 1 best friend or 10 acquaintances: 1 best friend
[x] bf/gf or best friend: both roled into one, I'm lucky
[x] tv or radio: tv
[x] starbucks or jamba juice: ewww
[x] mc donalds or burger king: taco bell
[x] summer or winter: Summer
[x] written letters or e-mails: email because they are easier.. but writing letters is cool exp. when they are 60+ pages! haha
[x] playstation or nintendo: both...
[x] disney or nickelodeon: Disney
[x] car or motorcycle: car
[x] house party or club: house
[x] sing or dance: sing
[x] freak or slow dance: slow dance
[x] yahoo messenger or aim: AIM
[x] google or ask jeeves?: google
____MISCELLANEOUS____
[x] can you swim?: Yes
[x] whats your most embarrassing moment?: I have a couple...
[x] what are you scared of?: fear
[x] what is your greatest accomplishment?: umm.. im not sure
[x] what kinda roof is over your head?: umm.. an old one! lol
[x] do you like tomatoes?: hell no
[x] how many TVs in the house?: well, 2 one in our bedroom and one in the living room.. but at my parents house.. theres like 8
[x] how many phones?: 1 cell
[x] how many residents?: two John and me
[x] how many DVDs do you have?: don't count them
[x] last dentist visit: ????
[x] last doctor visit: june
[x] last phone call: mommy |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 14th, 2004|02:01 pm] |
1. WHAT COLOR ARE YOUR KITCHEN PLATES? Purple
2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW? umm a conducting book!
3. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? umm its a DELL mouse pad.... stupid school
4. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? umm.... idk i like most
5. FAVORITE MAGAZINE? cosmo
6. FAVORITE SMELL? j'adore or my guys smell!
7. LEAST FAVORITE SMELL? fart....
8. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? I dont wanna get up....
9. FAVORITE COLOUR? purple, blue
10. LEAST FAVORITE COLOUR? lol... GREEN
11. HOW MANY RINGS BEFORE YOU ANSWER THE PHONE? depends on what Im doing and whos callin
12. FUTURE CHILD'S NAME? ______ insert name on line. no inserting it here.... Matthew, Renee and Kadence
13. WHAT IS MOST IMPORTANT IN LIFE? doing what makes you happy
14. OF ALL THE POSSIBLE CIRCLES OF HELL, WHICH ARE YOU MOST LIKELY TO BE ASSIGNED TO? ummm...
15. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? both
16. DO YOU LIKE TO DRIVE FAST? yes
17. DO YOU SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL? umm... i got my own live teddy bear
18. STORMS - COOL OR SCARY? awesome
19. WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR? a red/maroon sable! RIP BABY
20. IF YOU COULD MEET ONE PERSON DEAD OR ALIVE WHO WOULD IT BE? umm.. lucille ball and desi arnez
21. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? oh my.... all... fav. drink of the moment... long island ice tea
22. WHAT IS YOUR SIGN & YOUR BIRTHDAY? scorpio... november 3, 82
23. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS OF BROCCOLI? sometimes
24. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY JOB WHAT WOULD IT BE? be a pro. tuba player or be a conductor of an amazing orch./ band.
25. IF YOU COULD HAVE ANY HAIR COLOR WHAT WOULD IT BE? my color!
26. HAVE YOU EVER BEEN IN LOVE? yes
27. IS THE GLASS HALF FULL OR HALF EMPTY? both.
28. FAVORITE MOVIE? umm.... not sure
29. DO YOU TYPE WITH YOUR FINGERS ON THE RIGHT KEYS? yes
30. WHAT'S UNDER YOUR BED? sheets. boxes and some clothes
31. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE NUMBER? 3
32. FAVORITE SPORT TO WATCH? softball, basketball, soccer
33. WHAT IS YOUR SINGLE BIGGEST FEAR? humm....
34. FAVORITE SONG? lol.. not sure
35. FAVORITE TV SHOWS? dont get to watch much tv
36. KETCHUP OR MUSTARD? mustard
37. HAMBURGERS OR HOTDOGS? Hamburgers.
38. FAVORITE SOFT DRINK? diet coke
39. THE BEST PLACE YOU HAVE EVER BEEN? cruise with my parents and arizona..
40. WHAT SCREEN SAVER IS ON YOUR COMPUTER RIGHT NOW? my personal one.... pictures
41. BURGER KING OR MCDONALDS? umm.. ewww
42. DO YOU KNOW SOMEONE RIGHT NOW THAT YOU COULD FALL IN LOVE WITH? yes
43. WHAT DID YOU DO YESTERDAY? school.... drumline... sleep
44. WHAT'S YOUR FAVORITE FOOD? pizza and junk food
45. WHERE DO YOU SEE YOURSELF IN 20 YEARS? i'll be almost 42.. teaching with kids...
46. IF YOU HAD THE CHOICE OF ANY SUPERHERO POWER TO POSSESS, WHAT WOULD IT BE? to go back into the future
47. WHAT'S THE WEIRDEST DREAM YOU'VE EVER HAD? dont remember
48. WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE CLASSICAL COMPOSER? oh man... mozart.. and beethoven... i know boring... |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 15th, 2004|05:47 pm] |
01. What is the first person you ever slept with's middle name? Henry
02. What kind of underwear are you wearing and what color? light blue/ teal from victory secret!
03. What is the song you want played at your funeral? The Dance
04. What is the phone number of your sluttiest friend so some of the single people can get some action? naa....
05. What would your last meal be before getting executed? mmm.. prob. italian!
06. beatles or stones? beatles? is that even a question?
07. If you had to pick one person on earth who should die, who would it be? i dont want any one dead! just strongly dislike
08. Last person you want to hear their problems? i'll listen to anyone's problems
09. What is the thing most important to you about the opposite sex? easy going, makes me happy and laugh,
10. do you secretly hate some of your friendsters / LJ friends but are too nice to reject them? i dont use that... well, not much anymore!
11. If you could have any super power what would it be? to be able to fly anywhere
12. Favorite hangover cure? never got a hangover! ha
13. How many drinks does it take to get you drunk? it depends on what i'm drinkin' beer - maybe 3-10 hard shit ... well lets just say mmmm... yummy
14. Favorite outkast lyric? hey ya
15. Hair color you most like someone your dating to have? light brown or blonde!
16. If you had to be blind or deaf? if i absolutely had to....probably blind, i couldn't go without hearing music
17. Do you have any psychiatric problems? nope
18. Siblings that should go to rehab? don't got none of those
19. Least favorite month? september
20. Favorite hateful thing to do to someone? ignore them
21. First movie you can remember seeing as a kid? bambi
22. Favorite person in the whole world? John!
23. When's the last time you went on a date? date? lol.... its not dating anymore!
24. Do you like violent movies or dirty movies? eh, sure
25. Fall or spring? spring
26. Person you most wish you hadn't made out with? B.
28. If you are straight, what person of the same sex would you do it with? ew. only jd
29. Where do you want to live when you are old and brittle? on the beach!
30. Who is the person you can count on most? John
31. If you could date any celebrity past or present, if time and age are not factors? rob estes
32. What books have you pretended you've read? my books from classes! ha!
33. What's a word you would use to describe your life? spontanious
34. Favorite drinking game? asshole
35. What did you dream last night? actually don't remember
37. What is the last thing you'd ever tell someone? personal things!
--School and year you graduated: Stroudsburg High School ~ 2001
--Number of people in your graduating class: 250?
--Nickname in high school? blondie, Lo....
--Sport you were into? softball, basketball, marching band! hahha... when i was younger... soccer tooo.... and swimming!
--Had a circle of friends? sure
--Best subject? band! im a band-o ...
--Worst subject? MATH... HISTORY
--A teacher you owe life lessons to? Rog.... ms lee
--Describe in some words...
--Your best friend was? brittany and John
--Worst friend? ummm no comment
--The school slut? no comment....
--Unrequited crushes? lol... andy
--Cafeteria food sucked? never ate it...
--Wore uniforms? nope
--How was the prom? junior was great... senior was okay
--Who were the prom king and queen? lisa and frank
--Any achievements? did county chorus my senior year district and regional band... scholarship winner... etc
--Were you popular? na, i was my own person
--Best song that reminds you of high school? john mayer... i wanna run through the walls of my High school and scream at the top of my lungs... etc |
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| 1013 |
[Jul. 7th, 2004|05:27 pm] |
I have had a rough few days. I haven't been feeling too well lately plus I just want John home but, I know he can't because he'd be worse off then when he left. It is just being greedy and I can't be that right now, I need to think of him and what is best for him. Staying on the ship is the best. How much I dont like that, it's true, he must stay. Last night was tough, we were having a "serious" talk. Dealing with the stuff we were talking about, we cant do talk and fix things when we dont have lots of time and aren't together. We need to be together and have lots of time to just talk and fix. So, last night i was upset because we just didn't have enough time to talk. Plus, I feel bad about it. I'm not getting into what all we were talking about, because he knows and thats the only other person that needs to know. I feel terrible about everything. Time maybe the only healer but, i want to talk to him now, and fix it now. I just have to be patient. I will be. Yes, we are on the down fall of the time. YAY. what, 45 days left. you break that down to 3 groups of 15. that way it doesn't sound too bad. but ugh. its still a lot of time. But what doesn't kill us only makes us stronger. This is going to make us so much stronger.
This is a big week. I am leaving for the wedding Friday morning. THAT DAY HE IS GETTING IT!!!! then sunday he gets another package. tom. the video is going out to get made into a dvd. then getting sent hopefully by this weekend to Sean. Friday, I plan on getting plastered.
I was on the Hummer website. its ONLY 60 grand for the hummer I'd like. blue, with crome! ha! well, i might be able to rent one. humm... maybe i will... in August. |
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| 1012 |
[Jun. 22nd, 2004|06:48 pm] |
| b a s i c s |
name: Lauren
single or taken: so very taken!
sex: female.
birthday: nov. 3 1982
siblings: 1 Andrew
hair color: blonde
shoe size: 8.5
height: 5'3"
| r e l a t i o n s h i p s |
who are your best friends?: John. Jen. Jess. Brittany. Danielle. etc.
do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?: yes.. but its more then bf..
do you have a crush on anyone: oh yea baby... on my one and only.. JOHN
| f a s h i o n | s t u f f |
where is your favorite place to shop: im not really into shopping it makes me feel fat... but i like gap, express, AE, aero, etc
any tattoos or piercings: ears. used to have belly button... maybe soon to have more in the ears... hah!
| s p e c i f i c s |
do you do drugs?: nope
what kind of shampoo do you use?: suave.. right now
what are you most scared of?: losing john...
what are you listening to right now?: hoobastank - the reason
who is the last person that called you? my mommy
where do you want to get married?: on the beach..
how many buddies are online right now?: 13/26, 1/11, 2/14, 1/10, 2/5,
what would you change about yourself?: my body... i'd lose about 35 lbs or more... blah...
| f a v o r i t e s |
color: blue.. and purple.. staring to go for neon green :-)
food: all the bad foods
subjects in school: I HATE SCHOOL
animals: my doggie and johns cats...
| h a v e | y o u | e v e r |
given anyone a bath?: no
smoked?: wow, yes
bungee jumped?: no
made yourself throw up?: no
skinny dipped?: yes.
been in love?: yes.. I AM
made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: yes.
pictured your crush naked?: DUH!
actually seen your crush naked?: yes... can't wait till i see him again!
cried when someone died?: yes..
lied: of course. not anymore tho!
fallen for your best friend?: I am in love with my best friend
been rejected?: oh yeah.
rejected someone?: yes.
used someone?: try not to
done something you regret?: i try not to regret things.. but yeah..
| c u r r e n t |
clothes: kaki shorts and my red YMCA staff shirt... new sneakers
music: the reason
make-up: none.. no reason to .. my baby is too far away.
annoyance: the YMCA kids.. ugh.. they are so bad
smell: my dinner
favorite artist: idk
favorite group: i like a lot but i must say hoobastank
desktop picture: my baby john
book you're reading: reading in the summer FUCK NO i do enough of that in the school year
cd in player: umm.. clay aiken
dvd in player: mystic river
color of toenails: flesh
| l a s t | p e r s o n |
you touched: umm... karen.. my hairdresser
hugged: prob. my mom
you imed: umm. .john last night
that imed you: john last night
you yelled at: the Y kids... they were sooo bad today
you kissed: john |
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| 1011 |
[Jun. 5th, 2004|03:43 am] |
this sucks... why do we have to go through this for 3 months.. why not just a month or so... 3 fucking months... this sucks .... i was looking foreward to the summer with him... finally a time to relax with him... god, i wish he could come home... i hope i get that job. ahh... all summer on a cruise... that would be amazing... this fucking blows...
does anyone have a code.. i want a new journal.... |
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| 1010 |
[Jun. 4th, 2004|10:37 pm] |
What is your full name:: Lauren Renee Altemose
Spell your first name backwards:: nerual
Date of birth:: November 3 1982!
Male or female:: female.
Astrological sign:: scorpio
Nicknames: baby, lo, blonde, are just a few
Occupation:: student.
Height:: 5'3"ish.
Hair color:: blonde.
Eye color:: blue+green.
Where were you born:: east burg.
Where do you reside now:: stbg.
Age:: 21
Screen names:: zwaitformez
E-mail addy:: tuba_chick@hotmail.com
What does your screen name stand for:: my screen name is a christian song by rebecca st. james. its about a person who will wait and be completely faithful to their true love who is perfect in every way
What is your livejournal name:: lovelylauren03
What does your livejournal name stand for:: lovely.. b/c i am hehe!.. lauren b/c its my name... and 03 b/c its my fav. number
Pets:: my puppy... lucy
Number of candles you blew out on your last birthday cake:: 22 one for good luck
Piercings:: 2 in one ear 3 in another
Tattoo's:: none yet.
Shoe size:: 8/9
Righty or lefty:: righty
Wearing:: my teal YMCA staff shirt and kaki shorts
Hearing:: the reason - hoobstank <3
Feeling:: lonely.... but in love
Eating/drinking:: drinking a soda... soon a beer...
Love
Have you ever been in love:: yes i currently am!.
How many people have you said "I love you" to?: 2
How many people have you been in REAL love with:: 2.
How many people have you kissed:: uhhh.... you want a number?... 11
Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex:: yes.
How many people have you dated:: ha, this one is easier... 5
What do you look for in a guy:: caring, worships the ground i walk on... sweet,
What's the first thing you notice about the opposite sex:: eyes
What type of guy do you usually go for:: lol... the drummers... lol
Do you have a crush right now:: yes.
If so who is it:: JOHN my one and only
Do you believe in love at first sight:: yes...
Do you remember your first love:: yeah...
Who is the first person you kissed:: 1st real kiss.. john ( or W)
Who was the last person you kissed:: John Remsen Donovan jr.
Do you believe in fate:: yes
Do you believe in soul mates:: yes.
If so do you believe you'll ever find yours:: yes... i have
Family Stuff
How many siblings do you have:: 1
What are your siblings names:: Andrew
What are your parents names:: Mike and Arlene
How many siblings does your mother have:: 1
How many siblings does your father have:: 2
Where are your parents from:: pennsylvania.
Is your family close:: ya
Does your family get together for holidays:: yes.
Do you have a drunk uncle:: nope.
Any medical problems run through your family:: heart problems.. high blood pressure... colon cancer... blah
Does someone in your family wear a toupee:: nope.
Do you have any nieces or nephews:: 2 nephews... Jonathan and Christopher
Are your parents divorced:: no.
Do you have step parents:: no.
Has your family ever disowned another member of your family:: no.
Did some of your family come to America from another country:: way back when. they came from germany, and england ...
Music Stuff
What song do you swear was written about you or your life:: "The Reason" - Hoobastank... right baby?
What's the most embarrassing cd you own:: i'm not embarassed about my vast musical taste.
What's the best cd you own:: i don't really have a favourite.
What song do you absolutely hate:: eh, idk
Do you sing in the shower:: not really....
What song reminds you of that special someone:: THE REASON....
Favorites
Color:: blue.
Food:: pizza pasta
Song:: the reason
Show:: dont have one
School subject:: none
Band/singer/artist:: don't have one.
Animal:: doggie
Outfit:: nada
Radio station:: nada
Movie:: what dreams may come
Pair of shoes:: flipflops.
Cartoon:: none
Actor:: i don't have one.
Actress:: i don't really have one.
Potato chip:: i don't really have a preferance.
Alcoholic Drink:: beer
Non-alcoholic Drink:: soda, chocolate milk
Soda:: diet coke
Holiday:: vday and christmas
Perfume/cologne:: j'adore
Pizza topping:: cheese.
Jello flavor:: any
Lunch meat:: spicy bologna... hehe
Card Game:: "presidents"
Video game:: whatever.
Website:: lol.. i'll show you later
Book:: none
Computer game:: dunno.
Number:: 3
Cereal:: sleep
Comedian:: eh. idk
Dessert:: ice cream
Disney character:: eeyore
Clothing store:: umm.. the nice ones... AE, AF, GAP, Express etc
Teacher:: mr. papp
Childhood toy:: barbies.
Carnival game/ride:: rollar coasters
Candy bar:: all
Magazine:: cosmo
Salad dressing:: vinegarette.
Thing to do on the weekend:: be with john ...hang with the friends etc.
Hot drink: hot choco...
Sport to watch:: softball.. basketball... soccer.. all sports
Person to talk to online:: john |
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| 1009 |
[Jun. 1st, 2004|03:00 am] |
well... its memorial day... o wait.. its june 1... didn't get to talk to john 5/31... this was the 1st time since he has been gone i haven't talked to him a certain day... i really hope i get to talk to him today.... this is really tough.. today of all days i want to talk to him... today is OUR day... 3 months... im hoping since dave is there he doesn't forget about me... and comes on here less... Im so fucking miserable here... i need him to help me out here and see if there is anything that he can do to get me on that ship... maybe go to HR... idk.. i have done all i can do... if i get rejected from clubhal i think i'll lose it... i feel useless.. fuctionless... worthless... the only think i have to look foreward to is going to bed at night.. b/c there i dont hurt.. i dream of what its like to be together again... yea, i know we are together in spirit but its not the same... exp. when u wake up thinking its him next to you.. and its not.. its just a stuffed animal... that makes it really hard to wake up....
well usually when i write in here i feel better after i write it down.. but i dont... is that a sign that this is really something... that my feelings are too deep to just get out by writing them down now? wow... thats really odd... but its great.. b/c that proves even more that im compeletely in love... well i have a date with my love ... in my dreams.. which is the only time i will be able to really have a good time for the next 3 months... good night |
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| 1108 |
[May. 29th, 2004|03:54 pm] |
ugh... this sucks... johns package came today.. but i wasn't home to get it.. now i have to wait till tueday...
i fucking hate esu... i'm going to try to send out my application out to FTC tuesday... i can't go back to esu... i can't! ******* is killing me with this paper thing... i did.. he wants to ruin me...it was a fucking accident ... just fail me... and fuck it up that way...
and
johns upset dealing with last night... i love you... i love everything about you... im not goingn to get into this more here.. but baby.. i love you... |
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| 1107 |
[May. 26th, 2004|09:53 pm] |
you are so amazing.... i got to talk to you today.. it was great... i could have a converstaion with you... it was music to my ears... oh i love you so much...
87 days left.. 12 weeks left... we can do this... we are strong... our love along with God will get us through this... our love is strong and we can do it. I HAVE FAITH!
if all i could give you was 3 words
wrapped around your finger
would it be enough
at the end of every day
would it prove our love's worth
i would walk on water
i would give my life up
to be all i can
i would never give up
i would never not believe
i would never not dream
for what i truly believe
and I believe in us!
--------------------------------------------------
There was a time when I felt
Alone and afraid
But You came close to me
And I'm forever changed
'Cause something stirred inside me
So much more than I can say
I thank You for believing in me
You've given me Your all
Now I'll never be alone
I thank You
You never stopped loving me
You've held onto my soul
And I'm never letting go
Never letting go
Your love is so amazing
Beyond compare
And now I can't imagine life
Without You there
For You have healed my spirit
I'm resting in Your loving care
Something stirred inside me
Something I just can't deny
For You have healed my spirit
Your mercy has restored my life
- to john... with all my love |
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| 1106 |
[May. 26th, 2004|01:57 am] |
WOW...
what a day... i went from a complete low... to a complete high...
humm.. elope... i never have really be a fan of that.... my theory is why cant "u" just wait.. you have the rest of your lives together... kinda nervous about it... makes me think that im trying to be sneaky... or doing something wrong... idk. Yes i love you... him.... JD... more than anything ... but why so soon. i wanna marry you yesterday.. but humm.. why can't we wait... i like the dating process.. ( only with you) the getting to know you... then the engagement stange... the liveing together stage.. all that fun stuff... i dont wanna skip those steps... humm.... theres more to talk about.. but i love you baby.. i can't wait to spend the rest of our lives together... |
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| 1105 |
[May. 26th, 2004|01:36 am] |
This was written a while ago ( not too long tho) it was written any time from Jan. - March. well sometime in the early part of the semester. Before John and I were official. My intensions were to write about something else but when I began to write this is what came out.
Not The Man I Thought You Were:
by: Lauren Altemose Donovan :-)
Everyday I see your bright smile
I see your bright eyes lookin' back at me
I see you're not the man you were
When we first met.
You have changed
Into a man,
into a man, I never knew you could become
into my prince.
You drive me crazy
you make me crazy for you
I can't stand it
or can't stand being away from you
You wont hurt me?
Prove it
No one else can, or has
Try to, I dare you.
I wrote this before i KNEW i loved you.. after i wrote this... i realized and knew it was you that i wanted to be with forever... you have proven to me that you wont hurt me...
I love you so much baby... you mean the world to me... |
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| 1104 |
[May. 25th, 2004|05:18 pm] |
well, im at a complete low right now... between not knowing what to do and not knowing what is going on.
what if he just came home? a few thousand dollars to pay... maybe 3,000... humm.. i could help him pay it.. ugh.. but he needs to be there.. he needs to succeed. he needs to do this for himself. not to mention what everyone would think... BUT.. remember what you always tell me... not to worry what other think... do what your heart tells you... REMEMBER THIS NOW!
what if i can go out... ahh.. it would be amazing... all summer on a cruise with him. it would be amazing ... everything would be the best..... just being with him all summer would be soo amazing...
what if i can't go out.. and he can't come back... we have to deal with this distance for 88 more days... i said to myself when i started dating John .. i'll never do another long distance relationship again... reason for that is they suck balls sooo much... but it sucks even more now... b/c i truly love him.. he IS my soulmate... JOHN REMSEN DONOVAN JR. YOU ARE MY SOULMATE... I LOVE YOU DAMNIT! (lol) ... i hate the distance... it blows monkey balls... but i will do it... and succeed with flying colors....b/c you have changed my life john... you are my life... you are my reason ... my reason to live , my reason to get up each morning, my reason to do anything.
i love you |
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| 1103 |
[May. 25th, 2004|01:29 am] |
ooo my bday... hehe.. 1103.. im a dork...
i just watched mad about you... i want to be like Jaime and Paul. soo happy with the one you love... i love my love.. he's is the best.. i want to be with him every moment of my life.. i want him here now... i wish i could just go to him right now... and be with him..
i love you baby |
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| 1102 |
[May. 22nd, 2004|10:51 pm] |
well, a lot has been going on.. and lot hasn't been going on....
im just not happy ... all i want to do is cry... i miss him so much.. this really sucks... why is it that im only happy when im around him... with everyone else i just wanted to be happy was never truly happy... like with john maybe i was.. but then i wasn't b/c we fought ... ugh.. blah.. skip him.. he was my 1st "love" 'nuff said.... then andrew.. it was a young relationship that never developed into what it could have been but whatever.. woudn't have lasted... too many issues.. then david it was good but the distance and he isn't going anywhere in a career ... that was a problem..... and eric... i wanted it to work... i wanted it to be great... so i told my self that long enough i believed it.. but it truly never was a good relatioship from the start... b/c of many reasons.. too many... but with john now.. JRD my love... we have had our problems... both of us... and we prob. still will but we can work through them. its still early but it feel right.. we have talked everyday since he left and sometimes several times a day.. and it feel like its been months... ugh.. and there is still 91 more days ... or 13 more weeks.. ugh which ever way you look at it its a long time.. this sucks... i hope in these 13 weeks his mom and i get a really good relationship going.. so when he comes back its going to be really good...
well, i got my info for five towns college today... i started to fill out the application.. im scared im not going to be able to cut it there.. i dont know all my scales ... over the summer i need to learn them.. i need to get up to the place i need to be.. but i need to get out of here...
i really want john to fail the piss test. i want him to come home.. but i dont want to be greedy and i want him to succeed. i want him to do well out there... i just wish it wasn't 3 fucking months. I want him to succeed... i want him to do well... im thrilled he is doing really well there but i just wish i was with him or he was here... succeeding... i hate being away from him for 3 months...next summer both of us ... on a cruise carribean... that would be awesome... |
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| 1101 |
[May. 17th, 2004|05:43 pm] |
I LOVE YOU JOHN REMSEN DONOVAN JR!
you are my world |
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| 1100 |
[May. 16th, 2004|08:56 pm] |
he called me a while ago now...
and well told me that if my feelings aren't as strong as i have been saying they are then i need to tell him and figure that out by the time he gets back. OH MY GOD.... I wonder why... I wonder where?? I dont want to jinx myself but WOW.... i can't believe it... I love him... I really do... more than anything in the world... ..
more later! |
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| 1099 |
[May. 16th, 2004|05:33 pm] |
97 days left.....
he called me last night... it was nice we had a good convo. i feel bad when he cries on the phone... i wish i could just jump throught the phone and hug him and make him feel better...
i went to his house (s) today ... talk to his mom for a little while. it was weird going to with out his this time but it felt ok... almost natural. I got all his stuff and his mom and I talked about maybe getting out there to see him... god, I hope that works out. I also hope dave gets on the ship so he has someone there he knows.
I thought it was funny when he called me this morning after church and said i wish i could have called you this morning to ask you to pray for me at church... what did I do? I put his name on the prayer concerns to pray for him. He didn't even need to ask. we have that kind of communication. wow its weird. (wee iard.
I will be sending him a package on monday. Filled with things he forgot and some other things not sure what but def. something that he will like.
this summer is going to be very long. Keeping my sanity will be very hard... but i know i can do it. i'll be spending lots of time with myself thinking about us... and everything. i hope to get the courage up to call one of his friends to go out or something. I want to hang out with them... they are fun... and older... like HE says i need that... after all he is old and i guess i am acting my age but i need to act older and more mature i guess... but his friends are fun and if i hang out with them i think it will calm me down and i think that will be a kick i need.
today i ....
went to church came home then went to home depo.. then went to john's houses... then cliff called me to go see a friend from HS... now, im home and am going to put thing together for John maybe make him a CD....
The Reason
i'm not a perfect person, there's many things i wish i didn't do
but i continue learning. i never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go, that i just want you to know
i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you
i'm sorry that i hurt you, it's something i must live with everyday
and all the pain i put you through, i wish that i could take it all away
and be the one who catches all your tears, thats why i need you to hear
i've found a reason for me, to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason is you,
and the reason is you, and the reason is you,
and the reason is you
I'm not a perfect person, i never meant to do those things to you
and so i have to say before i go, that i just want you to know
i found a reason for me to change who i used to be
a reason to start over new, and the reason you
I've found a reason to show, a side of me you didn't know
a reason for all that i do, and the reason is you |
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